C.A.R.P.S.

[The Gavin Legion]

*nilbog rolls out from under a bench*

y'know why the elves are causing all these problem.

it's 'cause they're a dying race. Y'know

Oh, and arthur, just cause a guy's trying to sleep on a bench under the bar doesn't mean yah gotta kick em

**rolls back undeer the bench*

[Mylo Fynnigan]

*Mylo regards Nilbog*

He's got a point about the dying race thing.

Maybe if we could spike Syl'Van'Dars' water supply with some kind of alchemy that would illicit a doosey of an amorous reaction, then we might get somewhere.

Although all of the latent tendencies of the males would more than likely shine through and all you would have is a bunch of Melves (thats Male Elves for you lamen) walking stiffly around avoiding taking any sort of seat. With the Femelves (you guessed it) of the species about to tear the trees of the forest itself down for just one man, any man......
*Mylos' eyes take a dreamy far off look*
Yeah........sexually repressed female elvies......yeah...
*He snaps back to alert*

Bombour I need a large loan! Where the blazes are Jenna and Fergus!? On that note where the blazes is Syl'Van'Dar!?!

*After a bit of scurrying he slows and picks his rag bag up*

Eh, a fool can dream I guess....

*goes back to whistling*

[The Gavin Legion]

*says his peace from still under the bench*

No... I don't think that the elven women aren't getting any is the problem.. though it might be.. what with the increase in apparent poofsterdum amoung the males of the elven populus.

All the elven males got a thing for pretty little boy elves if you catch my drift.

Except they're ain't any pretti littel boy elves anymore.

Not that I suspect there is an epidemic of ugliness spreading amoungst the younger generation of elves, though there might be, it's just that there isn't any younger generation of elves.

I mean word leaks out from places like that. There hasn't been an slvan elven child born in what 50ish years? That can't just be the result of all the elven women being frigid.

Oh and than they're the sixth stanza of that prophecy that the pale faces told off in gateway

They wane, they fall, their end comes nigh, without renewal.
Yet...
A man, nay, an elf will wield once more the Great Staff.
By power of Light to unite fire and ice, air and earth.
But not all dream of what was or should be.
So once more the shadow of Darkness shall fall upon the land.
The Great War that was shall come again,
To save or destroy them all, only time shall tell.

Now from the assumptions I've heard around town this bit refers to the elves. So I'll assume that this is probably true, or at least enough of you beleive it to be true that it doesn't matter if I say otherwise.

Now the first line refers to how they're going to wane and fall. Now this is obvoiusly refering to the elven male's inability to get the neccessary arousal to be active in the bedroom, and how their genitalia will fall off or some similar calamity which will bring about their end.

So what I think it is they're going to do is invade silverthorn and make out like their cousins on the plateau are doing. Whassat you ask??
Why mating with human women of course to increase their numbers.

*gets up from under bench and shouts*

Humans Beware!!!! The ELVES ARE OUT TO STEAL YOUR WOMEN!!!!!


Now thier initial plan, the one where they get their half-elven floozy princess to marry the king and make the transition subtle has failed, so now they're gearing up for hostilities.

But we must not ignopre the second verse.

Yet...

This is obvoiusly refering to the recent activities of hte mages guild involving their quest for children who are potential "rouge mages". Now isn't that a load of dung. I seen some of those kids they were draggin in, and they were hardly a dozen years old yet.

And if you think about it wasn't the mages guild led by an elf until just a few years ago. That rafesito guy or whatever. And aren't an awful lot of elves mages. And then they come to Silverthorn and join the mages guild. Doesn't that seem suspiscous to any of you

And the third versse, how the seer start off kind of confused about the race of the indiviual in question.

Now this could just be one of the tricks of the trade manifesting itself. Y'know, a diviner making his prediction intenitonally vague in order ot not be proven wrong at a later point. I should know, I'm head of the local diviner's guild.

But anyway. It the two races are either a man, being a hu-man, or an elf is involved. And isn't the head of the mages guild now a human named vandrel or something, and it used to be an elf.. Awful quicindental.

And then they're this issue of a Great Staff. Yes that's right. You heard those capital letters too. What this is refering to is obvoius.

It's obvoiusly refering to the first erection anyt male elf has had in the better part of this century. And he's going to wield it to. But as we've already discussed almost all elven males are poofsters. So how can this be you ask?

The answer is clear. The elves are in cahoots with the mages guild to kidnap supple human boys under the pretense that they are "rogue mages". But the flow of buys from Vanafucsuc to Sylvandar isn't fast enough to sate their horrible carnal desires, so they are taking more drastic measures.

These measures being to invade silverthorn and steal all of the males from the younger generation so that they can molest them.

*stands up and again shouts out*

Humans Beware!!!! The ELVES ARE OUT TO STEAL YOUR SUPPLE BOY CHILDREN

And that's what this is all about.

*rolls back under the bench*

[Daniel Lockheart]

Mylo, two of what ever he is having!

[Nyrhtak Of Mahuru]

here here!

To the uh, two of whatever that was. Actually. Make that three for me.

[Darthesis]

And kindly remind me to never have, under penalty of my own death... to imbibe that of which Nilbog has so impressively consumed.

[Guest]

If you need eyes in the sky, an eye for traps, an extra blade, or ranged support, I'm your bird. Especially if rewards are involved!

As for Nilbog, he may not actually be drunk. Difficult to tell with that one. Insane maybe. Let's find out:

Hey, Nilbog! You of the mind to give away coin?

[The Gavin Legion]

*rolls back out from under the bench with his staff in hand*

Just because I'm not obsessed with money like you doesn't mean I'm not in my right mind.

And aih have not drunk nearly as much ashhh aih *burp*

Oh. 'scuse me. Where was I. Oh yeah, money for the greedy birdman.

Well here's some money for you birdman beak boy

*pulls out a flask of whiskey*

When you're parched this stuff is like liquid gold, and when there are troubles in your life you want to forget for awhile this is better than a hit to the head by a board.

Shouldn't you be up in the city above the trees birdman?

[Mylo Fynnigan]

Well, until the next morning then it is exactly like getting hit in the head with a board...Over, and over, and over.......

[Sir Llyshon]

*Frowns and looks over toward Arthur*

I do not know, and I assure you that I am as confused as are you. Sir Frederick informed me that Silverthorne troops attacked a band of elves, but we later found that these troops were, in fact, Re'Gaul's minions masquerading as such. I did not know that you had already looked into this task.

That true Silverthorne troops are amassing to the southern border and that they are there to defend our land against an elven army were words that I heard from Sir Frederick himself. Perhaps you and I should travel to Terragon and speak with him? I would be grateful for the companionship of another squire, especially one about whom so many speak highly. We may discuss these goings-on, and others on the road.

[Guest]

Like liquid gold is a far caw from actual liquid gold. With the real stuff you can coat things like lead bricks and then convince some poor shlub that the bricks are...

*Glances at the Squires*

... really great for building snazy-looking houses!


But since you didn't give me free coin, Nilbog, I guess you're not completely gone. Crazy maybe, but not insane. Or vise versa.

[Rowen Kane]

well i for one rather go running off to level reguals forces, rather some elves. so i think that i want to be at this "meating". unless the people of this town still don't trust me enough to give my two cents on a plan, but see it fit to send me off to go and fight, possably die or worse, as part of a plan that i no part of, besides being a tool of destruction weilded by the "masters of planing". i belive that i may have some insight or ideas that may be useful, but only if i can get them out before we hit the battle feild.

[Mylo Fynnigan]

*Mylo turns to Rowen, slides a mug over to him and nods.*

My friend you are a very potent implement indeed. You have seen this town through many moons of violence, and disturbance. More than I have the knowledge of personally, though I have heard.

If I said I would like to hear your plans would that ease the sting? Of course not.

You should speak to Darthesis in private about this "meeting". I, for one, believe that with your experiance your 2 nick could add up to piles if brought into the mix.

All I ask is that if we could be of any help, please let us "common folk" know. Or at least let us know what to be prepared for, and I will personally walk the knowledge to the surrounding towns.

*Mylo wipes down the oak, and refills the crunchies*

[Rowen Kane]

thank you mylo, your words in this town are like the bubble in ale, it just wouldn't be worth a damm with out them.

[Mylo Fynnigan]

*Mylo smiles to Cane

Bombour puts the bubbles in, but thank you. I am more of the rag that is dirty and raglike. I forgot where I was going with that thought, and I feel the need for a bath now... Anyways...
*To Nhyrtak and Daniel*

I am sorry but I think Nilbog drinks solely tree sap. What sort of tree I have no idea. Though I am sure a fortune is to be made with its discovery.

*Mylo expertly juggles three mugs and then sets them behind the bar.*